My first brush with recruitment...and a humiliating internship diary

It was the summer of 2002. I had landed an internship with a promotions company...at a bar. I was 23 years old at the time, so I was legally able to participate in all of the extra-curricular activities summer in Chicago had to offer. Of course, said internship prevented me from having any fun.

This is the evolution of my job description:

Interview day: I'm going to work in outbound telephone party promotions. Sweet!
Next day: I've got special skills (i.e. a great "presence" and an excellent voice). I'm going to work on tv commercials for the facility. Outstanding.
Still that day: You're going to be our publicity intern. You get to write press releases for bands that play our venue. That's awesome squared! (And get me a coffee)
Next day: We need 40 telemarketers. So it's your job to screen the voice mails from job seekers and evaluate them based on their communication skills. Ummmm, I've never done this before, but I'll try anything once. (And get me a coffee)
Next day: We need to train them. You're a good writer. Can you throw together a training manual? I'm sure I can. (Don't forget to get us coffee. We need coffee.)
Next day: Listen, I know I'm paying you $6.50 an hour plus one meal per shift, and I'm only paying you for half of your hours worked, and you're working from 9AM until 11PM regularly, but I'm going to need you to help us run our training program. Whoa, whoa, whoa. This is more than I bargained for in every way...besides money, of course. (By the way, I hate coffee.)
Next week: I know I promised you the chance to write press releases, but I need you to stay on interview scheduling, screening candidates, and working on training. Also, can you handle employee relations? The staff trusts you. Alright, now you're just getting silly. (Maybe you should lay off the Carmel Macchiatos.)
Next week: The commercial project is on hold. The co-owner is going to keep writing the press releases. But we have several disgruntled telemarketers, several openings for new telemarketers, and more situations that need conflict mediating. I won't pay you any extra, but can you get on that? I'm a nice guy, but even the most eager employee has to tap out at some point in time. (Take your coffee and shove it somewhere warm and dark.)

You get the point. So by the end of the summer, I had staffing and recruitment experience, payroll experience, employee relations and conflict resolution experience, and training experience. None of which had anything to do with the job I signed up for. Nine years later, I'm happy that I did.